Sunday, September 21, 2008

MARY IN TEARS


SEPTEMBER 10, 2008

EULOGY FOR MY MOTHER

MY MUM IS MY HERO AND WAS MY BEST FRIEND.

I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU SOME OF MY FEELINGS ABOUT MY MUMMY, MOLLY BENDER, EVEN THOUGH IT IS PAINFUL FOR ME TO DO SO AS I MISS HER TERRIBLY AND I SO WANT TO HEAR HER VOICE AGAIN IT HURTS.

YOU SEE, THERE WAS NEVER A TIME I SPOKE WITH MY MUM MOLLY BENDER, WHEN SHE DID NOT PUT MY THOUGHTS, CONCERNS, AND EVENTS BEFORE HER OWN.

BECAUSE I HAD MOVED A FEW TOWNS AWAY, I DID NOT VISIT IN PERSON AS OFTEN AS I WOULD HAVE PERHAPS LIKED TO, BUT I COULD ALLWAYS LOOK FORWARD TO A COZY TELEPHONE CONVERSATION AT THE END OF A HECTIC DAY, WITH MY MUM. MANY TIMES I ASKED FOR ADVICE AND GREW TO TRUST HER JUDGMENT, BECAUSE IT RARELY FAILED. SHE HAD AN UNCANNY WAY OF GETTING RIGHT TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER, AND KNEW HOW TO RESOLVE A SITUATION WITH A GREAT SENSE OF STREET SMARTS AND SIMPLICITY. AFTER I HAD SPENT QUITE A FEW MINUTES RAMBLING ON ABOUT MYSELF UNTHINKINGLY, SHE WOULD ASK ME IF I HAD GONE FOR A SWIM YET TODAY, OR WHAT PLANS I HAD FOR FUN LATER ON, OR FOR DURING THE WEEKEND. AND SHE WAS HAPPY FOR ME WHEN I WAS HAPPY, THIS I KNOW.

LATELY, WHEN WE WERE TALKING ABOUT THE HURRICANES, I WOULD TELL HER ‘THE ANGELS TOLD ME WE WOULD NOT HAVE A HURRICANE FOR FIVE YEARS AND WE ARE ONLY IN THE THIRD YEAR WITH TWO MORE TO GO AND THEN, IF WE TAKE VERY GOOD CARE OPF THE ENVIRONMENT, WHO KNOWS??!! ”THEN SHE WOULD SAY ‘WELL THEN, LISTEN TO YOUR ANGELS, LISTEN TO YOUR ANGELS….. ‘

ONE TIME I TOLD MY MUMMY “ YOU KNOW, MUM, IF I WERE EVER SHIPWRECKED ON THE TITANIC, YOU ARE THE ONE I WOULD TRUST IN MY ROW-BOAT. YOU ARE THE ONE I WOULD WANT TO BE TRUSTING WITH MY LIFE!!”

I WILL LEAVE YOU WITH A FINAL THOUGHT. I HAD A VERY STRONG IMPRESSION ONE DAY LATELY AFTER VISITING MUMMY IN THE ICU OF DOCTORS HOSPITAL. I SAW MUM RISING UP OUT OF HER BED AND SHE LOOKED BEAUTIFUL, LIKE SHE DID AS A YOUNG GIRL……HER HAIR WAS IN PERFECT BRUNETTE WAVES, HER FACE WAS GLOWING AND SHE WAS SMILING AT ME. THEN SHE LOOKED UP AND MY DADDY WAS THERE HOLDING HIS HAND OUT TO HER. SHE TOOK HIS HAND AND THEY BOTH STOOD HOLDING HANDS AND SMILING DOWN AT ME IN A GOLDEN LIGHT. I SUDDENLY REALIZED THAT THEY WERE SOUL MATES AND TWIN FLAMES. HE HAD BEEN WAITING FOR HER, AND NOW THEY WERE TOGETHER. I FELT SO HAPPY FOR MY MUM AND FOR JUST A MOMENT, IT MADE EVERYTHING FEEL BETTER. A FEW DAYS LATER, MY MUMMY WAS GONE.

I JUST WANTED TO SHARE THIS LAST VISION WITH ALL OF YOU TODAY, SO THAT MAYBE IT WOULD HELP ALLEVIATE THE PAIN OF SEPARATION FOR YOU ALSO, BECAUSE MAYBE THERE IS NO SEPARATION,

I THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME TELL A SMALL PART OF MY STORY ABOUT MOLLY BENDER, MY WONDERFUL MUM AND HER INNER STRENGTH AND COURAGE. I WILL MISS HER TERRIBLY.

GOOD-BY MUMMY. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

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